I have written about my life and some of my recent thoughts briefly. I would like to shift the focus of this blog. I asked myself this question: What do I know? In my 33 years of life, what have I come to know well enough that I could teach others confidently? After a bit of thought, my answer was mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. In the past, I have thought of how I would share my experiences in hopes that it might help others. The issue was that I still needed help myself and was not in a position to offer advice. Though I will always need help in one form or another, I feel that I am now ready to share some of my experiences and what I have learned, and I believe they will be helpful to some. Everyone’s journey is different, yet in terms of mental illness, those who suffer share a common experience. Almost like a shared language, we form a community of people who can connect with each other in a way others can’t. We will never know exactly what someone else is going through, but know that if we look, we will find that we are not alone, and there is much to be learned from those who suffer like we do. We are a community, and the more we can connect, the more we can understand others and ourselves. Bipolar is something that can bring much suffering to the person who has it and to those around them. It is confusing. I hope to bring some light to this strange illness and hopefully help someone in the process. This is an ongoing battle. A battle that cannot be fought alone. But there is hope, let me explain why…
First of all, this blog is called Invitations from God. I am a believer in Jesus Christ. This is not a religious blog, yet He is the reason I am alive, so it is impossible for me not to mention Him. I know that there is often dissonance between the medical community and God. I want to assure you that God is not against medicine. God is the reason I am currently taking medicine. But I am here primarily to talk about my own experiences with bipolar and what I have learned in the process. God just happens to be an ever present help and a source of hope for me. I hope you will find what helps you.
I wish I could tell you my story with complete accuracy, but my past is blurry, and the sequence of events is hard to recall. Much of it is unnecessary to share. I will stick with experiences that were most important in my development. These may not be in order, but this is not a history book. It’s more like a collection of short stories. This is the first time I will be reminiscing deeply on some of these events so I’m not sure how this is going to go but thanks for coming along on this adventure with me and I hope we can both learn something from it.
I know that this disease can take people to dark places. You may be in a dark place right now. I’m not here to tell you that I know what you’re going through. I’m here to tell you what I’ve been through. And if there is anything you take away from this blog, it’s that freedom is possible if you keep moving forward, one step at a time. That’s what I did.
I want to start by saying that we are at war. Those who suffer from mental illness are at war with an unknown and unseen enemy. Though we know more about it now than 50 years ago, there is still much to be learned. Though we see it’s effects, we cannot see it’s cause. I think it is important to see mental illness as a war because it is. And because we are at war, we should act like it. It is important to have discipline. It is important to stay fit, mentally and physically. It is important to know that you have the victory, before you have it. It is important to have hope, otherwise you will not fight well. Though mental illness can be debilitating, it cannot defeat you if you have hope. Many have overcome this disease and live good lives. But I’m here to tell you that you can live exceptional lives. Hopefully I’m not being “grandiose,” but we are not on this planet to make it by. We are here to thrive. But it doesn’t come easy. It’s not supposed to, this is war. But wars come and go, and battles don’t last forever. And if we fight, we have already won. Hopelessness is a greater illness than any physical or mental malady. Challenges strengthen us where we would not be as strong without them. Where we were diagnosed disabled, we were prescribed a purpose. To find healing. So take it or leave it, whether you want to fight or not is up to you. Just know you are not the only one in this war. So let’s get to fighting, because mental illness doesn’t take a day off. Healing comes one step at a time. Are you ready to take a step?
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”
– Lao Tsu